You’ve probably heard the saying “money is 90% emotion and 10% math”. Whether the emotion is empowerment, disempowerment, shame, pride, inspiration, guilt… in order to create a life of richness, meaning, and authentic prosperity, it is crucial to understand the beliefs and filters driving your relationship with money.
I have not met a person without a money story. For the first half of my life, I felt trapped in a vicious cycle with my own money legacy.
Growing up, my mother was very strict and denying when it came to spending. The answer to every desire, request, and even basic need was a resounding NO! I internalized the belief that I didn’t deserve nice things, and developed a coping pattern of self-denial when it came to money and desire. As an adult I found myself shopping to fill a void. I experienced an exhilarated sense of nurturance when I purchased something beautiful, regardless of whether I could afford it , only to land in fear and self-loathing a little later in the day, when I looked at my bank account or credit card statement. Then, I would react to the self-criticism by once again, denying myself what I wanted. I was trapped in a frustrating cycle.
I attempted to transform my relationship to money by reading books on positive money habits, and observed friends who appeared to have a comfortable, empowered relationship with money. Still, I experienced a repetitive pendulum swinging from one extreme to the other (good girl versus bad girl). My relationship with money was fraught with anxiety and confusion.
It was only when I learned how our relationship with money is driven by conditioning that exists in our subconscious, that I began experiencing tangible, lasting changes. I learned to distinguish between my own beliefs and those of my family and the culture I grew up in. I discovered an internal connection to self- nurturance that was independent of my spending habits. Once I stopped living as a reactive victim of my money story, I was able to make new decisions about money that led to different results.
By shedding a spotlight on my unconscious money triggers and drivers with self compassion, I naturally began making empowered decisions about money that were aligned with my greater life vision and values.
Lasting transformation within your relationship to money begins on the inside, and requires intentional strategies and practices.